Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Benign Sleep Myoclonus in infancy
This is what Jakob was diagnosed with. Its nice to have the information and a name with what he was doing and what was going on with him. The twitching that you see in the video is exactly what Jakob would do. Click on the link.
Overwhelmed, but this time with love and blessings!!
Sitting down at the computer for the first time today after a day of running from here and there, I started to edited, continuing on with the pile of work that is waiting on me. I have just returned from a friends home of which decided to help us out by showering us with some amazing gifts and providing some wonderful advise. I can't get in the mood to edit, I can even pull out work right now, but instead feel the need to share the wonderful amazing things that have happened to us in spite of the bad.
The devil wants us so easily to overlook the positive in our lives and let the negativity take hold. In knowing this, I have realized that I have given little to the positive in my blog.
Let me start with the present and work my way backwards. Friends... oh my Lord do we have some loving, trusting, compassionate friends around us and many of them. Never have I felt so much love from the day Jakob was born to present. In going through the drama and the pain that we have lately, those friends, true friends come out of the wood work and have been there for us in many ways. I have a very giving heart and to be in a situation where I feel limited because I am so caught up in all that is around us, makes it hard to receive. I wanna be in that place to do for those I love, but have had to learn to take gifts as well. Its humbling on one end, but on the other, as I sit here with tears running down my face because I am overwhelmed with the amazing blessings of friends, it heals my heart and lifts my spirits to know how lucky we are.
Secondly, the basic positive events that have given us time to breath in times when it doesn't seem possible. We were approved through healthwave.. thank GOD! Jakob is over a $100,000 baby so that was a answered prayer right there.
Also, the last check of Brians covered what we needed it to cover for the month,
and compared to last years August,which was my slowest month with no orders at all, I have received tons of orders this August which is great news considering how money is tight these days.
I met with the neurologist today and Jakob is doing great. I have a name for the seizures he was having and what those were all about and start lowering his dosage till he is completely off of phenobarbital.. yeah.
Brian is Coaching for Shawnee Mission North Freshman team. He is finally doing what he loves and he gets paid pretty well for it for the time he puts in.
Thirdly, family.. and do note that I am putting these things in order of not importance but in the order in which I can say the blessings have come from present to past, just to eliminate any sensitivity. Just as I am overwhelmed with friends I am with family as well. We have had to ask for some favors and some help and that isn't easy for us to do at all and you have pulled through for us even when it wasn't exactly the right time or perhaps you didn't have it to give at the time and yet you still helped.
We have so many people to hug, so many people to thank, so many thank you letters to send, something of which I am horrible about. Your concerns, your prayers, your help, your advise and your listening ears have meant everything to us.
What was our issues again?? I can't seem to remember?
The devil wants us so easily to overlook the positive in our lives and let the negativity take hold. In knowing this, I have realized that I have given little to the positive in my blog.
Let me start with the present and work my way backwards. Friends... oh my Lord do we have some loving, trusting, compassionate friends around us and many of them. Never have I felt so much love from the day Jakob was born to present. In going through the drama and the pain that we have lately, those friends, true friends come out of the wood work and have been there for us in many ways. I have a very giving heart and to be in a situation where I feel limited because I am so caught up in all that is around us, makes it hard to receive. I wanna be in that place to do for those I love, but have had to learn to take gifts as well. Its humbling on one end, but on the other, as I sit here with tears running down my face because I am overwhelmed with the amazing blessings of friends, it heals my heart and lifts my spirits to know how lucky we are.
Secondly, the basic positive events that have given us time to breath in times when it doesn't seem possible. We were approved through healthwave.. thank GOD! Jakob is over a $100,000 baby so that was a answered prayer right there.
Also, the last check of Brians covered what we needed it to cover for the month,
and compared to last years August,which was my slowest month with no orders at all, I have received tons of orders this August which is great news considering how money is tight these days.
I met with the neurologist today and Jakob is doing great. I have a name for the seizures he was having and what those were all about and start lowering his dosage till he is completely off of phenobarbital.. yeah.
Brian is Coaching for Shawnee Mission North Freshman team. He is finally doing what he loves and he gets paid pretty well for it for the time he puts in.
Thirdly, family.. and do note that I am putting these things in order of not importance but in the order in which I can say the blessings have come from present to past, just to eliminate any sensitivity. Just as I am overwhelmed with friends I am with family as well. We have had to ask for some favors and some help and that isn't easy for us to do at all and you have pulled through for us even when it wasn't exactly the right time or perhaps you didn't have it to give at the time and yet you still helped.
We have so many people to hug, so many people to thank, so many thank you letters to send, something of which I am horrible about. Your concerns, your prayers, your help, your advise and your listening ears have meant everything to us.
What was our issues again?? I can't seem to remember?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Status Update on the DRAMA
Well the social worker stopped by today and met Josey and Jakob. She seen our cabinets were full and that Josey and Jakob didn't look starved one bit. There was only one call made into the SRS, but they had to come out because we had a child under one year of age. It didn't take her long at all to realize that there was no reason for any concern in our household. I encouraged her to meet with my son Jackson at the middle school. She said she had to anyways to make sure he didn't look like he was starving either. *rolling my eyes*
She asked if ever Jackson was left with the baby and Josey alone and of course, he's not, but we did tell her that he is aloud to take Josey to the Library or visit me at the studio. We assured her that everything is in a block radius but he's not aloud to go further then that with her.
She was perfectly fine with that and I'm sure once she met him she was reassured.
I am relieved that all went well although there was no reason why it shouldn't of. I am extremely annoyed that "the people" that called, who I think I can guess who it is, has it out for us so much or feels that strongly about what awful parents we are to do so.
Oh to small minded people who have nothing more to do then to nosey around in other peoples lives and try and find problems where there is none. Being open and honest and doing right by people doesn't always pay off in the long run. I refuse to be bitter, but finding a way to forgive the ignorant is very hard to do.
She asked if ever Jackson was left with the baby and Josey alone and of course, he's not, but we did tell her that he is aloud to take Josey to the Library or visit me at the studio. We assured her that everything is in a block radius but he's not aloud to go further then that with her.
She was perfectly fine with that and I'm sure once she met him she was reassured.
I am relieved that all went well although there was no reason why it shouldn't of. I am extremely annoyed that "the people" that called, who I think I can guess who it is, has it out for us so much or feels that strongly about what awful parents we are to do so.
Oh to small minded people who have nothing more to do then to nosey around in other peoples lives and try and find problems where there is none. Being open and honest and doing right by people doesn't always pay off in the long run. I refuse to be bitter, but finding a way to forgive the ignorant is very hard to do.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A sad day
First let me start off by saying that I never intended for my blog to be so blah and doom and gloom. But today is a very sad day for me. Writing is my outlet, its a healing mechanism for me. Getting my issues and problems out in the open is also a way to heal my soul so the blog is perfect.
Let me start by saying I have amazing kiddos. Those of you who know them would say the same. I am confident in that. My oldest, Jackson, who is 12 is awesome. We are truly blessed to have him. He is responsible, loving, compassionate, kind of an ol' soul. My 4 1/2 year, while very sassy but well tempered and funny. She's such a girly girl. No fit throwing and does what she told for the most part and adores her brother. Jakob, well we still have plenty of time to brag about him. So far, remarkable baby, of course.
I love my kids so much and have stayed at home with them all these years to make sure they are well taken care of. I am thankful to have a wonderful father and husband in Brian. We are open and honest with our kids and talk to them about everything. We also allow them their independence on many levels which is why I feel Jackson is the responsible young man that he is.
We live right in the middle of town. Main st. and my studio is a block up the road. The school is a block west and the Library a block east. Last year, I gave Jackson the responsibility of watching Josey for only a short time and only if our neighbors were home. Brian was working and I would be at the studio working. If I felt like they were gonna be left alone for too long a time I would get a babysitter. Jackson did very well. I wouldn't of done that if I didn't believe whole heartedly that he could handle it. There are some kids that I believe are mature enough at a certain age and others I wouldn't trust if my life depended on it. Jackson was definitely trust worthy. This year, he can walk with Josey up to the Library as well. Last year he was able to walk with her up to the studio if he needed to bring her up. No big deal.
Because we now have Jakob and Brian is home more often Jackson hasn't had to babysit for quite awhile. He takes Josey up to the library with him on occasion and that is it.
Josey... my little princess.. she eats a ton, but lately we have been having a battle of trying new things and eating what you are given at dinner. Some things she out right refuses to eat and others times if she doesn't like it we get the gag reflex... brother. Anyway, she is a skinny little thing and we always tell her she is gonna fly away if she doesn't eat. She does get plenty of food during the day. She is blessed with wonderful genes and ever since she was a baby, that girl has had very little fat. High metabolism..she's lucky.
Why am I going on about all this??? Today SRS called us. They are meeting with us tomorrow. Someone called and said that the twelve year old is left to watch the 4 year old too much and that Josey is too skinny.
I cannot tell you how heart wrenching it is for someone to accuse you of being a bad parent. I know I'm not, in fact, I know I'm a damn good parent. But not just accuse you of it, but feel so strongly about it that they wanna call SRS on you. I can't stop crying today. I am in aw. I don't understand. Of course, anyone who reads this will question us as well. I fully expect that. All I can say is to look and know our kids, To see their behavior and how they are with us and with others around them, you should know, or quickly realize they are well taken care of.
I can only take guesses as to who it is, but really how much does it matter at this point. Now we get to face the SRS and hopefully they will see for themselves.
I am not sure how much more drama and stress I can handle. Brian is still technically with out a job, although still doing part time insurance adjusting work. Money is tight, very tight and now this..not to mention family drama on my side.
On a good note.. Jackson started school today, 7th grade..wow. Josey and Jakob are doing great and business has been amazing this last month, thank GOD!
Let me start by saying I have amazing kiddos. Those of you who know them would say the same. I am confident in that. My oldest, Jackson, who is 12 is awesome. We are truly blessed to have him. He is responsible, loving, compassionate, kind of an ol' soul. My 4 1/2 year, while very sassy but well tempered and funny. She's such a girly girl. No fit throwing and does what she told for the most part and adores her brother. Jakob, well we still have plenty of time to brag about him. So far, remarkable baby, of course.
I love my kids so much and have stayed at home with them all these years to make sure they are well taken care of. I am thankful to have a wonderful father and husband in Brian. We are open and honest with our kids and talk to them about everything. We also allow them their independence on many levels which is why I feel Jackson is the responsible young man that he is.
We live right in the middle of town. Main st. and my studio is a block up the road. The school is a block west and the Library a block east. Last year, I gave Jackson the responsibility of watching Josey for only a short time and only if our neighbors were home. Brian was working and I would be at the studio working. If I felt like they were gonna be left alone for too long a time I would get a babysitter. Jackson did very well. I wouldn't of done that if I didn't believe whole heartedly that he could handle it. There are some kids that I believe are mature enough at a certain age and others I wouldn't trust if my life depended on it. Jackson was definitely trust worthy. This year, he can walk with Josey up to the Library as well. Last year he was able to walk with her up to the studio if he needed to bring her up. No big deal.
Because we now have Jakob and Brian is home more often Jackson hasn't had to babysit for quite awhile. He takes Josey up to the library with him on occasion and that is it.
Josey... my little princess.. she eats a ton, but lately we have been having a battle of trying new things and eating what you are given at dinner. Some things she out right refuses to eat and others times if she doesn't like it we get the gag reflex... brother. Anyway, she is a skinny little thing and we always tell her she is gonna fly away if she doesn't eat. She does get plenty of food during the day. She is blessed with wonderful genes and ever since she was a baby, that girl has had very little fat. High metabolism..she's lucky.
Why am I going on about all this??? Today SRS called us. They are meeting with us tomorrow. Someone called and said that the twelve year old is left to watch the 4 year old too much and that Josey is too skinny.
I cannot tell you how heart wrenching it is for someone to accuse you of being a bad parent. I know I'm not, in fact, I know I'm a damn good parent. But not just accuse you of it, but feel so strongly about it that they wanna call SRS on you. I can't stop crying today. I am in aw. I don't understand. Of course, anyone who reads this will question us as well. I fully expect that. All I can say is to look and know our kids, To see their behavior and how they are with us and with others around them, you should know, or quickly realize they are well taken care of.
I can only take guesses as to who it is, but really how much does it matter at this point. Now we get to face the SRS and hopefully they will see for themselves.
I am not sure how much more drama and stress I can handle. Brian is still technically with out a job, although still doing part time insurance adjusting work. Money is tight, very tight and now this..not to mention family drama on my side.
On a good note.. Jackson started school today, 7th grade..wow. Josey and Jakob are doing great and business has been amazing this last month, thank GOD!
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