A sad day

First let me start off by saying that I never intended for my blog to be so blah and doom and gloom. But today is a very sad day for me. Writing is my outlet, its a healing mechanism for me. Getting my issues and problems out in the open is also a way to heal my soul so the blog is perfect.

Let me start by saying I have amazing kiddos. Those of you who know them would say the same. I am confident in that. My oldest, Jackson, who is 12 is awesome. We are truly blessed to have him. He is responsible, loving, compassionate, kind of an ol' soul. My 4 1/2 year, while very sassy but well tempered and funny. She's such a girly girl. No fit throwing and does what she told for the most part and adores her brother. Jakob, well we still have plenty of time to brag about him. So far, remarkable baby, of course.

I love my kids so much and have stayed at home with them all these years to make sure they are well taken care of. I am thankful to have a wonderful father and husband in Brian. We are open and honest with our kids and talk to them about everything. We also allow them their independence on many levels which is why I feel Jackson is the responsible young man that he is.

We live right in the middle of town. Main st. and my studio is a block up the road. The school is a block west and the Library a block east. Last year, I gave Jackson the responsibility of watching Josey for only a short time and only if our neighbors were home. Brian was working and I would be at the studio working. If I felt like they were gonna be left alone for too long a time I would get a babysitter. Jackson did very well. I wouldn't of done that if I didn't believe whole heartedly that he could handle it. There are some kids that I believe are mature enough at a certain age and others I wouldn't trust if my life depended on it. Jackson was definitely trust worthy. This year, he can walk with Josey up to the Library as well. Last year he was able to walk with her up to the studio if he needed to bring her up. No big deal.

Because we now have Jakob and Brian is home more often Jackson hasn't had to babysit for quite awhile. He takes Josey up to the library with him on occasion and that is it.

Josey... my little princess.. she eats a ton, but lately we have been having a battle of trying new things and eating what you are given at dinner. Some things she out right refuses to eat and others times if she doesn't like it we get the gag reflex... brother. Anyway, she is a skinny little thing and we always tell her she is gonna fly away if she doesn't eat. She does get plenty of food during the day. She is blessed with wonderful genes and ever since she was a baby, that girl has had very little fat. High metabolism..she's lucky.

Why am I going on about all this??? Today SRS called us. They are meeting with us tomorrow. Someone called and said that the twelve year old is left to watch the 4 year old too much and that Josey is too skinny.

I cannot tell you how heart wrenching it is for someone to accuse you of being a bad parent. I know I'm not, in fact, I know I'm a damn good parent. But not just accuse you of it, but feel so strongly about it that they wanna call SRS on you. I can't stop crying today. I am in aw. I don't understand. Of course, anyone who reads this will question us as well. I fully expect that. All I can say is to look and know our kids, To see their behavior and how they are with us and with others around them, you should know, or quickly realize they are well taken care of.

I can only take guesses as to who it is, but really how much does it matter at this point. Now we get to face the SRS and hopefully they will see for themselves.

I am not sure how much more drama and stress I can handle. Brian is still technically with out a job, although still doing part time insurance adjusting work. Money is tight, very tight and now this..not to mention family drama on my side.

On a good note.. Jackson started school today, 7th grade..wow. Josey and Jakob are doing great and business has been amazing this last month, thank GOD!